June Challenge: Day 12 & 13 & a different kind of Challenge, one of my bestie’s is moving far away :(

You know how when something is planned for a really long time to happen and it just feels so far away until, suddenly it’s not?? My very good friend is moving next week out of state and I am so excited for her new adventure but I can’t imagine not seeing her weekly. Even during Quarantine she would do porch drop offs of supplies to me so we could wave or I’d stand in my driveway and she’d be on the street in her car so we were 6 feet apart and could talk with our masks on. She has the biggest heart and we have the same warped sense of humor. She knows my deep dark stuff. We used to watch true crime shows while the kids were at school. We have plans to continue doing that watch-party style once she’s settled and unpacked into her new house and all the kids are back in the classroom.

She came by yesterday so we could say good-bye and we talked for 2 and a half hours in the sun 6 feet apart. (I got a decent sunburn on my shoulders too.) That just proves my point of how big her heart is…she is leaving, knows I am NOT leaving my house for any reason, and so she came to ME to say goodbye. She offered to wave and wouldn’t hug me in case she had cooties but I told her she was worth the risk to me and we had a long huggggggggg. I hope she knows how much she means to me. (heart emojis) I know this isn’t forever. I’ll travel to see her at some point and she’ll be back in California every so often too.

Secret Bestie Stuff

Back to the Daily Cleaning Challenge, last night (#12) I cleaned up under my daughters bed. Some things we store under there because we lack space but more often stuff ends up beneath her bed because she kicks it there when she “cleans up her room.” We pulled out so many books from under there.

Today, I worked on the top shelf in her closet (#13). It was basically stuff that had accumulated there over time and that needed to be put in an order and sorted. I’m not attaching cleaning pictures because, both would just be blah pictures so I’ll spare you. You’ll have to take my Girl Scout honor that I did it. 🙂

After that, I spent a decent chunk of the day with my kids. We worked on a sequin unicorn picture my daughter had gotten for her birthday but we had never taken the time to put together. You take a tiny pin, put a sequin on it and push it in the the foam board to decorate a picture. It has 1900 sequins to put in it!

The very beginging
Farther along but we got as far as the while spots before we called it a day.

My fingertips are killing me but it was good OT practice on my gripping. I lost a lot of sensation in my fingers 2 years ago when I lost feeling all over my body from my collar bone to my toes for months. The feeling in my fingertips comes and goes now. My grip and hand strength have never came back to my “normal” before losing the feeling initially. My daughter and I worked on it for close to 3 hours. At one point my son came in to see our progress and commented, “That’s a cool gecko on the door.” I turned to see an alligator lizard on the inside of the screen door. My hubs relocated it to the yard.

I hope you had an eventful Saturday, minus alligator lizards.

Today is LOVING DAY! June 12th

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A HISTORIAN. I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL AND HAVE SOME COLLEGE CREDITS, but with all that is going on in the world right now, with the demand for racial equality, with the Black Lives Matter movement, finally gaining the speed and the traction, it should have a long time ago, I feel it is important to share these two “history lessons.” I am sharing both of these because I think they are relevant to today but I am not trying to compare the two situations as they same thing. They simply both deal with racism.

Ten years ago, I was pregnant with my daughter and taking an online sociology course. As I recall, the chapter started about what constituted as a “marriage”. I remember the book was slightly outdated because Gay Marriage had passed in California in 2008 (even though it was fought in the higher courts for years before finally being upheld in 2013) and the book referenced that the fight for Gay Marriage was still being debated.

I remember reading a passage in the chapter about “The Loving’s.” I had never heard of them. Are you familiar with their name? They were a white man, Richard and a black woman, Mildred, that had been legally married in Washington D.C. because they could not get married in their home state of Virginia. They were arrested for violating the Racial Integrity Act of 1924 and had to flee their community to go live in Washington D.C. for 5 years where their marriage would be legally recognized. They always wanted to go back home to their small town in Virginia where whites and blacks got along even though, the time they were living in was the late 50’s, at the beginning of the Civil Rights Movement. Mildred wrote to the ACLU and with their help, their case went to the United States Supreme Court. On June 12, 1967, in a unanimous decision the ban on interracial marriages was lifted. Today is “Loving Day!” a day to mark the end of the ban.

Before reading their story, it had never occurred to me that I was in an interracial marriage. I was 27 years old the first time this ever even crossed my mind. We had been married for 4 years by then. My hubs is Mexican and I am a mixture of European decent (aka white with some other nationalities mixed in.) I had no idea that because of 2 people in the 60’s, I had the ease of being able to marry the person I wanted too. Thank you to the Loving’s for fighting the fight, on behalf of all the people who love people who are different races than they are.

Something else I just recently learned about was the Chinese Exclusion Act. I was listening to a podcast a few months ago (Mobituaries with Mo Rocca; Episode: Anna May Wong: Death of a Trailblazer) and learned that in 1882 the Chinese Exclusion Act was the first immigration law that excluded an entire ethnic group of people from immigrating to the United States and created huge barriers for the Chinese that were already living here. At the time the Chinese composed only .0002 of the nations population. If a white woman married a Chinese man, she lost her citizenship even if she was born in America. A Chinese man could not marry a white woman. White men were prevented from marrying Chinese women. The law was finally overturned in 1943.

My grandparents were allowed to legally be married 3 years later. I don’t remember my grandparents ever talking about this as actually being an issue for them. My grandfather was off fighting in WW2 while they were dating and they got married shortly after he came home. I do remember hearing stories about how my great- great- great grandfather immigrated from China via Hawaii. I remember always specifying that I had Hawaiian-Chinese heritage. (I wonder now as an adult and after hearing about this Act, that if due to the treatment of Chinese, this is why we always made it clear we were HAWAIIAN-Chinese; perhaps as a declaration to also point out we were of American decent.) I also remember my grandma telling me stories that during the war, she had to carry special identification to show she was Chinese and not Japanese decent, so she wouldn’t be taken to an interment camp. Ironic since just years earlier Chinese were so hated.

I don’t remember hearing about either the Loving’s or the Chinese Exclusion Act ANYTIME when I was in school. When my daughter was young, my hubs and I decided to raise our children with History. Along with our families and friends, we have always tried to expose them to histories and the fights of others.

June Challenge Day 11: The Hallway Hideaway

I created this self-imposed challenge to CHALLENGE myself, so today… Go Big or Go Home!! Unless you’re already home like me, then clean up a big mess because what else do you got going on?! (Only if you want too. No pressure from me. Truly. Watch TV all day if you want. I will not judge. Quarantine is nuts and we all just gotta do what we need to get through it with no judgement.)

Anyway, we have a hallway cabinet that when I don’t know where to put something, I tend to shove it in this cabinet and walk away because out of sight out of mind, right?!

Today’s post is going to mostly be pictures because pictures speak a thousand words and do so much more than me just typing, “This was a cluster f**k and I did this, this, this, this and finally this!!”

Plus, I think with the pictures, you will truly see the mess that this was and by the end you will decide I should be rewarded with a gold star sticker and a mojito.

Drumroll please!

The Inside of the Hideaway Cabinet
Staging Area One
Staging Area Two
OMG it’s empty!
You may remember this duck whistle from a previous post. I obviously came and threw it in the closet…
It’s reorganized!!

It took about 2 hours to reorganize it. It has always housed our cold medicine but now I don’t have to grab it while holding stuff in with my other hand before slamming the door shut! Yay.

June Challenge Day 10: There is a Time and a Place for Everything and There Should Be Snacks too.

Day 10! I am a third of the way through my self-imposed punishment…I mean decluttering challenge.

Today, I decided to work on the top of my fridge. Have I mentioned yet how tiny my kitchen is? We have super limited storage. Weird shaped cabinets. Minimal drawers. We have two IKEA shelve things that we use as storage places. One is for food storage. Mostly its every day use food- cereals, tortilla’s, bread, peanut butter and kids snacks. It’s stuff that we can quickly grab without going to our main pantry in the laundry room. The other holds an array of kitchen gadgets- my much loved KitchenAid mixer (That is trying to die after 14 years of service), our blender, our toaster, a panini press, a crock-pot, a mandolin…

The Mess

The space on top of our fridge holds an assortment of baggies, foil, plastic wrap and my cherished pumpkin candy dish that is basically the size of an actual pumpkin. I love it too much to put it in the garage with the Halloween decorations so it sits up on the fridge year round as a sort of display piece.

I also have cardboard magazine holders that I keep labeled for foil, wax paper and cling wrap. I also have two baskets for baggy storage- one for lunch sized baggies (snack and sandwich size) to quickly grab when I am packing lunches for my kids for school. The other one is for larger size bags (quart and gallons.) I also keep my crock-pot baggies in this basket. I like that it is all in reach.

My husband has been doing 97% of the cooking since quarantine started. He is a foot taller than me and just throws stuff back on top of the fridge all easy-peasy. He doesn’t need the step-stool like me.

Every thing in the right place

I would argue I am not a Type A type of person but writing these clean up blogs the last few days, I definitely like things where I think they go but I also have a super slow burn until it bugs me enough to do something about it.

It took only minutes and I am relieved it is back in order up there again. Now where are my snacks?

I Have MS. Let’s Get Divorced.

My hubs and I had our 18th dating anniversary on Monday. So, in this post should I refer to him as my boyfriend?! Anyway…

18 years in the scheme of life isn’t that long if you’re lucky enough to make it to your 80’s but 18 years when your not yet 40 (Me.) is a long time. He is very good at math and he told me on my next birthday, I will have been with him longer than I have been without him.

As we inch closer to my MSiversary (my MS anniversary) in July, I start to think back to when I was originally diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 2012. I was in the hospital for 5 days getting steroids. When I came home, I was on a walker and no one knew what the future would bring when it came to walking unassisted ever again or not. I was worried it would get worse and I would end up full time in a wheelchair. I couldn’t do ANYTHING without help. We got intimate in ways I would never have imagined and I am not talking about sexy, fun-time ways. I’m talking about helping me to and from the bathroom. Helping me IN the bathroom. Helping me shower and get dressed. Cutting up my dinner into small pieces because my tremors were really bad in those early days.

I think on the 3rd day of me being an “invalid” I told him he could leave and I wouldn’t blame him. I would sign the divorce papers and he could move on with his life. We would split the kids time with us up 50/50, we’d still stay friends and hopefully in time, he would find someone else to love.

Dude.

He was SUPER pissed I would even say that to him. Like, he was so mad, I honestly thought he might punch a hole in the wall. I’m not sure I had ever seen him so mad and especially not AT ME.

Listen, I know in retrospect it sounds over-dramatic that I would tell him that. We had been married 6ish years by then and together probably close to 10, but I was staring down the barrel of an incurable disease. In my mind, I was doing the KINDEST thing possible by telling the love of my life, that he could leave.

Of course, he stayed and here we are today 18 years and 3 days later. We have been through many ups and downs in our lives but always fighting it together as a team. It’s not always easy. It’s not always without argument but it’s always the two of us, figuring it out.

I know when you are first diagnosed, simple, daily things seem so amplified that you’re just not sure how you are going to get through it. In those moments, find your person so they can carry you when you can’t carry yourself. It doesn’t have to be a significant other. It could be your parent, your sibling, your pastor, your hairdresser. An actual therapist. It could be the person who would help you hide the bodies. It could be the friend that won’t judge if you want to start day drinking at 8 am. The person who will hit you between the eyes with the truth, even if the truth will sting. I encourage you to find at least one person that will help you get through the really overwhelming times. Once you’re on the other side of it, don’t forget to be that person for someone else too. (Chronic Illness Warrior or not!)

June Challenge Day 9: Electronic Cleaning Counts Too!

I picked a super ridiculously easy cleaning challenge for today because I got 4 hours of sleep last night . (I think insomnia caused by it being a million degrees is a thing!) I have been yawning since 3:30 this afternoon and trying to push through to 7:30 so the kids get ready for bed and I can lay down and hopefully fall asleep earlier than later.

As I have been lounging on the couch, I decided to go through my emails. I unsubscribed to companies I no longer want to get emails from. I went through and trashed a bunch of emails that no longer needed to be in my inbox. I am not a person that keeps none or all my emails. I just get too busy with life and don’t take the time to declutter it.

I decided to go through a chunk of pictures on my phone also to start deleting some pictures.

I am a mom. I take 9000 pictures a day. Or, I have pictures that didn’t focus. Or, pictures that burst shot 12 of the same image. Going through my pictures will take substantially more time but I am going to make an effort to do it more often when I am bored and just aimlessly scrolling social media killing time. Don’t forget to go to your settings after and clear your storage to free up memory on your phone!

IMAGE: A screenshot of my IG posts.

Vegas FB Memories

(2016- Anniversary Trip. No Kids. 2.5 days)

It’s TRUE. We didn’t go back for awhile to Vegas but it also wasn’t as devastating and permanent as I made it sound like it would be.

When I wrote this post, I was starting to rely on my Walker more & more. I was very self conscious of the staring from people; of the rushing past me to not have to hold open doors.

Old lady walker. (No offense old ladies) and a cooling vest

We don’t go to Vegas in the Summer anymore. We stay downtown so it’s a much smaller area for me to walk. We also take an array of walking devices. I swear, it’s like we replaced baby stuff with #MS stuff. I take a foldable cane, my walker & a wheelchair. We take a small cooler to keep ice packs in for my cooling vest. (We take another cooler for adult beverages đźŤşđźŤą) plus luggage for the weekend. My hubs makes multiple trips from the parking garage to the room. We make it work.

I don’t notice the stares as much now (unless someone is being super gawky.) It took time to get used to. It took time for me to be comfortable in this new roll. I still have bad days where I get frustrated and cry. I still have pity parties where I wish I didn’t need help walking but I make it work.

But most days, I just live my life.

And I RAWK the Walker…(RAWK is like ROCK but Sassier!)

Upgraded Walker with bells and whistles. Ice Vest with an awesome logo so people have something to read when they stare,.

June Challenge: Daze 6,7,&8

I’m sure you were wondering if I finally went on strike from my own challenge since you haven’t seen me post in approximately 72 hours…I stuck with it.

As you may or may not recall, I picked out 30 things I want to work on around my house- one for every day of June. I decided not to do them in any particular order but it just made sense to clear out closets and dressers out at the same time.

First, I worked on my husbands and my closet while binging Investigation Discovery Saturday night. I started this habit where when I come across an item I don’t wear any more, I throw it on the floor of our closet on my husbands side until I bag it up to take to the thrift store. It has turned into quiet the pile since I started doing it and much to my hubs annoyance, we are repeatedly kicking it out of our way. I enjoy buying clothes but it got so out of hand, that my 2018 New Year’s Resolution was I challenged myself to not buy any new clothes until January 2020 (which I did except for 2 occasions I needed specific things for specific events- so I count it as a win.) I do wear most of what I have in my closet regularly but my half of the rack is jam-packed and a few pieces are in my daughters closet because you just have to get clever when you have limited space.

The Pile

Our luggage also lives over on the floor of my husband’s side of the closet. In normal life (not Covid times) we travel often enough that our traveling bags tend to get shoved over in the back corner once we’ve come home and unpack it. (I’m being honest! LOL) So I took a few minutes to reorganize them all in to the one huge suitcase.

Sunday, I worked on my daughters drawers. She does have items in her closet too but those stay organized since she rarely pulls items from there. It’s organized by jackets, her softball uniforms, girl scout uniform and dresses. She has ADHD and just shoves whatever where ever in her drawer but she can never find specific pieces she wants to wear. Together we went through her drawers and pulled the stuff she has outgrown and pieces she wanted to get rid of. Then, we broke them up into categories and just put a labeled tape on the drawer. It’s not fancy but hopefully this will help her when she puts her clothes away and then she can find that ONE shirt she wants/needs.

Today, I worked on my sons drawers. He likes things where he likes things so most of the time, he keeps his clothes pretty organized. He did have items he has outgrown so I did pull those things. He has less clothes because he wears uniforms to his school. He is starting to be more interested in what he wears when he is not at school so I did try to put them in the drawer image up. I don’t think he’ll probably continue that on his own when he puts his clothes away but his clothes do at least end up in the right drawer.

In the end, I listed a few things for sell on the Mercari selling app. We had 3 bags to donate to my parents friend who owns a thrift store so she can resell them or donate them further. I am breathing a sigh of relieve having this done. Clutter usually doesn’t bother me but I guess being home seeing it and staring at it all day after day, has just stressed me out. We’ll see what I come up with tomorrow!

IMAGES: My closet, My daughters drawer, my sons drawer, a bag of clothes to be donated.

June Challenge Day 2: Still Hanging In There

I highly underestimated how much my kids going to online “fun” Summer School would cut into my “free” time…the teachers have got it squared away now, even if it’s just fun stuff. My son requires a fair amount of supervision to be re-directed to his work since it’s all stuff he enjoys like learning how to code, playing math games that resemble video games, and reading comic books. My daughter needs help mostly sticking to her schedule because she has online saxophone lessons on Tuesdays so she needs to make sure she gets her summer school stuff done in the morning and then is able to take a lunch break before she practices before her lesson starts.

So for Day 2, I had to find something else pretty easy that I can accomplish now before bedtime (because once they’re ready for bed, so am I!) I did walk over to the basket of cords in my hallway and I pulled it out but then I got overwhelmed and just put it back exactly where it was. I think that will require my husbands help because otherwise I will just throw them all away. They might need to be all thrown out anyway, but then at least he has the say so….

I have a red organizer that hangs in my living room. It usually holds all of my kids school stuff that I need to remember- schedules, reminders, awards, etc but since in person school froze in March it has stuff that can definitely be tossed and reorganized — like the Duck Call Whistle that currently hangs there that we got in Branson, MO 4 years ago as a souvenir.

It’s just sloppy and I get tired of looking at it day to day but not enough that I actually take the few minutes to straighten up.

It took me approximately 3 minutes. It took me longer to write this post than just straighten this up.

I’m not sure what I’ll do tomorrow. My kids both have two Zoom calls so if I can sneak away during those, I will try to do something that is a little more time-intense but at least I am slowly checking things off that have been making me nuts looking at them around the house.

IMAGE: Red hanging organizer and the Duck Whistle.

June Challenge Day 5: I Nailed this Challenge

Today I felt like I had time to breath. This week has been rough with my kids in their first week of summer school. They both went on a virtual field trip at different times with their classes to the Kennedy Space Center and that was the brunt of their school day. I did stuff around the house without having to step away every 8 minutes. It was very refreshing.

It was a nice June gloom, overcast day today. My hubs and I played darts for a bit. When it’s warm, I can get through about a game and a half before my leg checks out and it’s too hard to remain standing. Today we actually got through 3 sets. He did slaughter me pretty quickly in the second game and I almost had him in the third. It’s something we have picked up during quarantine to do together. We’ve always had a dart board in our backyard but he has mostly always played with friends because I never really had any interest. Once we were home bound, we started playing together to pass time. He’s REALLY good and I am getting there.

We ordered pizza for dinner tonight. He has been cooking basically every night and wanted a break. He is a great chef and keeps me well fed but I was glad to have take out as a little cheat. We watched “A Bugs Life” with the kids for Friday movie night.

I just remembered I didn’t do a declutter item today. It’s already close to 8pm so I picked an easy one.

I chose to do my nail polishes. My daughter has just started really getting into painting her nails so the bottles of polishes are a big disaster in that cabinet. I combined our two bottles of nail polish remover into one and set all the bottles back up straight. I didn’t color coordinate them. I double checked that there weren’t any I wanted to throw away for any reason. (There weren’t.)

Before
After

I’m really hoping tomorrow, I tackle a big project since it’s the weekend. It not like we’re going anywhere…